Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lesson #25: Sitting Through A Meal Is A Thing Of The Past

You know how people are always saying to appreciate the little things in life? Once you have offspring, you start appreciating the things you used to have (privacy! a clean house! sleeping in!) and celebrating the microscopic things, like not having to wipe pee off the toilet seat before you sit down.

The thing that I find myself missing most is sitting down to eat. My husband and I both grew up having family dinners, and sitting down all together to have dinner is something we do with our children as much as possible. It sounds all idyllic and quaint all-American: the family meal where everyone eats together and shares all the wonderful things that happened that day. The reality is more Roseanne Barr than June Cleaver. 

I seem to be constantly getting up for one reason or another. Most of the time it involves my 4-year old having to use the bathroom even though he was JUST in there washing hands five minutes ago. This is typically followed by my 19 month old throwing food on the dog before launching his plate and cup as far as possible juuust as I reach out to take them away. The kid's got lightning fast reflexes. The thing is, he hasn't quite figured out the whole cause and effect thing and typically cries (this kid doesn't do anything halfway; when he cries he SCREAMS) because now he doesn't have his plate, or now he wants to get down and wreak havoc while we're all still at the table. 

Easter brought about a prime example of the sort of meal interruption that seems to always find me. We were celebrating with my mom's side of the family-she's one of 9 so there are typically a LOT of people at our family gatherings. We had just sat down to eat when my 4 year old announced that he had to go to the bathroom. Of course. I glanced at hubster but he was trapped at the end of the table up against a wall and couldn't get out (good strategy, I'm trying that one next year). I took ole potty pants to the bathroom and lemme just tell ya- he let out a doozy of a poo. I was pretty excited that he'd made it to the bathroom and I didn't have to clean out pooey underwear (definitely appreciating the littlest of things there). The situation went downhill a bit from there though. The little dude flushed the toilet several times in a row, then said, "Mama the water's getting really high". Oh yes. Clogged the toilet right in the middle of Easter dinner. Everyone else was chowing down on ham and there I was playing Roto Rooter in the bathroom. Most of the family found it amusing when I went out and asked where the plunger was kept. I'm pretty sure they all laughed when my son came running out shouting, 'The water's going down! My green poop went down now!" 

Maybe we should just eat in the bathroom. It has pretty much everything we'd need: the toilet is right there for the older one; the tub is in close proximity for those who are in splatter range of baby Babe Ruth; the sink is also right there for rinsing dropped cups and forks; heck, there's even towels to sop up those spills! I think I might be onto something here... 

Whether it's a potty trip, sopping up a spill, rinsing off dropped silverware, or pouring more milk, my job is never done- and neither is my meal. I just keep reminding myself that one day my babies won't need me to pour their milk or cut their meat, and I'll miss these days when they still needed me. That, and one day they'll be changing MY diapers muahhahahaha!